Don't be a stranger!
by aloorsy
Summary: Collection of Hayffie drabbles. Fluff, angst, smut, whatever your heart desires (:
1. Memories

_Memories_

"What was your fondest memory of us?"

She asks all of sudden. We are sitting in the living room. She's taking notes, rearranging schedules, checking our budget and I'm drinking – _like always_. I look at her but didn't answer. Not because I couldn't but because I don't want to give her false hopes. I can't tell her my fondest memories were. Those words are never to be uttered. It would be too dangerous for her…for me.

I can't tell her that the most precious was when I first heard her laughing wholeheartedly. I don't remember where we were - probably in one of our beds - or why she was laughing but I do remember that she wasn't dressed up as a clown, her face wasn't caked, there wasn't any ridiculous wig on her head. She wasn't the escort, she was the young, beautiful woman she should be every day. And she was laughing. She threw her head back, her blonde locks were everywhere. And she just laughed as if she couldn't stop. Her laughter was sweet and joyful. It sounded like millions of little bells. She hid her face in her palms and took them away only when she stopped laughing to catch her breath. Her eyes were full with tears and she said her side was hurting. That was the moment I knew I was a lost man. That was the moment I fell in love with her.


	2. I want us

_I want us._

His arms were around her waist and her head was laying on his shoulder. They moved slowly to the soft melody of an ancient waltz. Anyone who saw could have told how perfect their harmony was. But no one could see them or witness their intimate moment. They danced in the dark of the night in their backyard, with only stars shining brightly above them. Like millions of diamonds in the endless, black velvet of the sky. Effie gently caressed Haymitch's nape.

"You want the same don't you?" He whispered. Effie knew what he meant. She had noticed that Haymitch watching her through Katniss and Peeta's wedding. She knew the look on his face because she had seen that spark in his eyes once, many years ago in District Thirteen. She rose her head to look in his eyes. She knew he was ready to hear the word 'yes' but she also knew he didn't want to. He would if Effie had wanted it but would it be honest? Would it be a real marriage? Did they need one?

She shook her head.

"No." She whispered.

"No, I don't. There are many things I can live without. I can live without you telling me you love me, a ring or a wedding. But I can't live without you."

"Really?" He pushed her away gently to reach under her chin and tilted her head. She looked in his eyes and nodded.

"Yes. We are already married, with or without paper. And that's enough. I want us - all I need is us, not more, not less."


	3. For who could ever learn to love a beast

_For who could ever learn to love a beast?_

They chose to stay in on that night; not doing anything, not visiting anyone, just cuddling up on a pile of blankets and pillows, enjoying the warmth coming from the fireplace, listening to the blizzard raging outside. It was so peaceful and intimate, Effie wished the night would never be over.

She was in Haymitch's arms and he was spooning her from behind. His finger ran up and down on her naked arm. Both of them were still a little dizzy, buzzing from the aftermath of their lovemaking. Effie stared at the orange and yellow flames. The colors were mesmerizing. Dangerous yet beautiful. Before the war, he had said same words about her when he was drunk enough to be honest.

"Are you happy?" Haymitch whispered into the silence. Effie froze for a moment before turning around in his arms to face him.

"Why?"

"Just answer the question." His grey eyes shined strangely.

"Yes." Effie gently kissed his lips. But the answer didn't seem to bring any relief to him.

"Why...?" She asked again. She caressed his stubble lazily with the back of her fingers.

"Why did you decide to come? What made you stay?" He ignored her question completely.

"Well...I had to bring Peeta home and...you were here, while no one was waiting for me in the Capitol. Why are you asking me these questions?" Haymitch's weird questions scared her. Though unlikely, she was afraid after a year he would finally decide that he didn't want her company after all and showed her to the door. She knew the man loved her even if he couldn't convey it verbally; his actions said enough.

"Do you know what day it is?" The sudden change of topic made no sense but Effie nodded nonetheless.

"Twentieth of February."

"And...?"

"What do you mean 'and'?" She asked, confused.

"Have you forgotten? You arrived here with Peeta a year ago." The hint of hurt in his voice surprised her. He was never one for anniversaries.

"Of course not! How could I?"

"Don't know...You always make unnecessarily big shit around everything but never mentioned our...anniversary, technically it is an anniversary...so I thought...you are here out of habit. Not because you want to but because you have nowhere else to go." He didn't look at her. He lay on his back and his eyes on the ceiling. His words upset Effie and her first thought was to hit him; to slap some sense into his head.

"Are you an idiot?" She whispered, she tried so hard to swallow back her tears. Although, she couldn't tell why she was crying. "I am here because I want to. Because I am your partner. Because I love you! I've been in love with you for years, and you know it! When will you ever believe it? Believe that there are people who loves you? That I love you?"

"I don't deserve anyone's love." He looked at Effie briefly then turned his gaze back to the ceiling. "For who could ever learn to love a beast?" He quoted an ancient tale. It was Effie's favorite, he knew that but he didn't know why. He found it stupid. No one would ever fall in love with a beast.

Effie sat up and straddled him.  
"You are not a beast." She took his hands and pulled him up. When he was sitting up, she wrapped his arms around her waist and then burrowed her face into the crook of his neck "You are not a beast." She whispered.

"I am. I killed people...children. Innocent children."

"I did, too… Do you know why Beauty and the Beast is my favorite?"

"I don't want to hear your stupid childhood stories from the Capitol… How could you love a fucking killer?"

Effie leaned up and looked at Haymitch. He avoided her eyes and focused his gaze on her lips. If he hadn't, he would have seen how deeply his words hurt her.

"It's my favorite because the beast reminds me of you." Her silent tears streamed down her face. "Because he wasn't a bad person. He just needed someone who could open his eyes to how wonderful he was. Or could be. You are not a beast. You were forced to do those awful things, you had no choice. You aren't alone. I did awful things too. Don't you remember? How can you love me then?"

"I..."

Effie carefully ran her fingers through his hair. "You are not a beast. But even if you were, I would still love you. I could tell you a hundred reasons why I love you and you wouldn't believe any of them." Effie kissed his lips. Haymitch tightened his arms around her and deepened the kiss.

"I hope you don't think you are Belle, princess." He mocked when they broke apart.

"No. But we could have a Belle."


	4. Sexual frustration

_I've changed the rating to M, just for the sake of peace...smutter stuff will come later anyway (;_

* * *

 _Sexual Frustration_

As soon as Haymitch got back to the penthouse, he made a beeline for Effie's room. The door was closed. He knocked on it but didn't wait for an answer and entered right away. Haymitch stopped in his track because Effie wasn't alone. A woman around her age was between her legs and licking her clean, he assumed, and another one was sucking on her right breast while Effie massaged her left one, playing with her pink nipple. All three of them wearing wigs and heels.

He needed a minute to adjust what he was seeing but when he finally realized what was going on, it made him uncomfortable and… slightly embarrassed. He knew Effie was sleeping with other men but with other women...?! Without doubt the Capitol was the weirdest place in Panem.

"Care to join?" Effie asked seductively when she noticed Haymitch was watching ...well, staring at them. The two other women stopped playing with Effie's body and sat up. Effie did, too. She got out of bed and walked up to him slowly, swaying her hips along the way. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed a kiss on his lips. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her out to the corridor.

"What the fuck, Haymitch?!" She screamed.

"Take this shit off!" He growled as he tore the wig off of her head. She yelped in pain as her pins flew everywhere. He lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder like she weighed nothing.

"Put me down at once! I am busy! You can't just break into my room and kidnap me!" She hit his back with her fits.

"Don't care." He marched to his room and threw his escort on his bed.

"What is wrong with you?!" Effie sat up and looked at him. She was mad, her blue eyes were sparkling with anger.

"What the fuck was that?"

"That was three women trying to have some fun."

"You- "

"You said I can't sleep with other men and I haven't. You never said I can't sleep with women." She shrugged.

"What the fuck are you? A whore? A slut? To fuck with not one but two women!" He shouted. He couldn't explain why he was mad. He didn't know why he was mad. Who cares who she was sleeping with. Effie was no one to him, just the escort he occasionally fucked. And...someone who brought him a strange, unfamiliar feeling of being safe and in peace. Even when he was asleep.

"I am a slut! Haven't you heard? I'm an escort, it's nothing but a nicer word to describe whore." She snorted, every word laced with anger and mockery. Haymitch wanted to hit her. He sat down next to Effie and gently took her sandals off. The sudden softness surprised her. He kissed her knee, her thigh, her chest then her neck.

"You aren't. You are my escort, the damn best I've ever had." He kissed her lips.

"How drunk are you?" Effie laughed and threw herself on her back. Haymitch lay down next to her.

"Dunno." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"I can't stay here. I've guests."

"You don't. You stay." He nibbled at her nape. "You are only allowed to sleep with me. Only me."

"Why?" She turned around in his arms.

"Because I said so. I don't sleep with others so you don't sleep with others either."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up! Just don't sleep with others, understand?!"

"Silly me, how haven't I noticed we are in a relationship." She rolled her eyes.

"We are definitely not." He snorted. Him? In a relationship? Never!

"Then why am I not allowed to sleep with whoever I want...? Please do enlighten me."

"Just...don't sleep with others."

"Okay." She nodded "I won't. I won't if you will respect me."

"I do."

"No, you don't."

"I do, Princess."

"Prove it."


	5. Sex, alcohol and wigs

**A/N:** sorry, a lot was going on in my life and - just to make everything better - I had a terrible writer's block...but here it is, my first and (probably) my last Hayffie smut. Enjoy! x 

_Sex, Alcohol and...Wigs_

Effie didn't know what Haymitch was doing because she was concentrating on giving him the perfect blowjob. Sure, she noticed he was moving but she thought it was because he felt bored and she found it quite offensive. No one had ever gotten bored while she was giving them a head! So, naturally, she wanted to prove she was good. The best Haymitch ever had! (Because, let's be honest, how boring can sex be in Twelve?!) She used her tongue, teeth, fingers...everything just to make it more varied and exciting. But she had gotten no reaction. Well...she did. But not what she wanted. Haymitch started to laugh and it made her furious. She pulled his cock out and whacked his thigh to get his attention.

"What?" Haymitch grumbled.

"Are you re-..." Effie finally looked up and the sight of him rendered her speechless.

"What the fuck?! The fuck you think you are doing?! That is expensive!" She stood up to face Haymitch who was wearing her bright pink and neon lime-colored wig.

"I'll fuck you like a Capitol would." He grinned "Or how a Capitol should..."

"No! Give me back my wig!" She tiptoed to tear it off but he was taller and stronger. Haymitch grabbed her wrist and turned her around. Within seconds she found herself laying on the arm of the sofa, with both of her hands behind her back. He held them firmly. She opened her mouth to protest against his animalistic behavior when she felt him separating her legs. Nothing but a moan escaped her lips. He gripped her then ran his fingers along her folds.

"Nice." He grinned at his fingers, covered with her wetness. He placed just the tip of his cock to her entrance and teased her with thrusting in the head only and pulled it out almost immediately. He could tell Effie was frustrated; her muscles on her back were tensed. He rather enjoyed it. He played with her for minutes, until her breathing became more and more rapid and labored.

"For fuck's sake, do something already!" She hissed. She tried to escape from his grip. He chose that moment to thrust in her, but only with the head. The unexpected feeling made her moan out loud. He slowly pushed his full length into her. It was pure torture, he was slow on purpose and it made Effie shiver. She tried to press herself against him but she couldn't move, he held her in place.

After a few thrusts, he let her hands go and placed both his hands on her waist. Then he fastened up...it was just as unexpected as when he had entered into her. She whimpered, but she couldn't tell it was a whimper of lust or pain. Haymitch was everything but gentle and Effie was sure she wouldn't walk properly for days, he would destroy her completely. She couldn't say she minded though. She kinda loved rough sex and Haymitch was rough. Sometimes he was almost animalistic. She would never get fucked by a Capitol man so roughly. They were all too gentle, too stilted. Capitol men only knew vanilla sex...

She gripped the side of the sofa and tried to swallow back her moans. Haymitch's hip slammed against hers loudly and hard. So hard, she could almost see stars. All of sudden, he knelt on the arm of the couch with one leg, his arm was around her waist and he pulled her up, then pressed her against his chest. She could feel the sweat on his body. He grabbed on her breast and pinched on her nipple, it made her yelp in pain. He rolled her hardened nipple between his fingers and Effie wanted to scream. She had to cling on the back of the couch to support herself. Haymitch didn't seem worried about tripping over. Effie had never seen him so out of control. His other hand slide down on her stomach and then down further south. He pressed his middle finger against her clit.

His thrusts were fast and hard while his finger was slow and almost soft. The duality of his moves pushed Effie to the edge and she was so close to coming. She reached up and tore the wig off of his head. It surprised him but he didn't stop.

"I want you." She breathed. She didn't have the strength to say more. She tried to look in his eyes but their position wasn't good for that. So instead, she kissed his throat. She covered his hand with hers and took over control. She pressed three of his fingers to her clit and rubbed them. Within minutes her body was trembling and she came. She screamed a little as the bliss and ecstasy rushed through her body. Haymitch grinned - mostly to himself. Effie could be so loud sometimes, especially during her orgasm. Effie was still panting when Haymitch finally came. He cum deep inside her, but she was too tired and high on her relief to care or protest against it.

When he finally pulled himself out, he was already flaccid. They laid on the couch and tried to catch their breath. Effie was in Haymitch's arms, her head tucked under his chin.

"Y'know." Effie whispered against his neck. "I'd never let a Capitol fuck me like this."

"You better not." He mumbled. "Only I am allowed. Your body is my damn fuckin' territory."

"I'm not an object."

"Don't care. No one but me is allowed to touch you." He rolled on the top of her. "Understand?" He was already hard again. His cock pressed against Effie's stomach.

"What if I say no?"

"You don't want to know..." Haymitch grinned and slid into her and Effie knew she would have a long night ahead. And that she would spend the next day with recovering.


	6. Cupcakes and Pineapples

_Hundred Reasons Why I Love You - 2nd - Cupcakes and Pineapples_

Haymitch grumbled under his nose all the way from the house to the grocery store, the bakery then back to the house. He was freezing his ass off with the snow. It was the middle of the winter in District Twelve. They had the coldest days of the year. No one was on the street. No one but him. Everyone was at home, enjoying the warmth of their houses…except him. And why? Because he had to go to the grocery store and to Peeta's bakery. And why? Because the missus wished for cupcakes and pineapple! Because the fridge stuffed with goodness wasn't enough for her. She craved for cupcakes and pineapples and she simply just couldn't think about anything else. It was a sudden change after not being able to eat anything or, at least, keep anything down for more than a few hours. So of course Haymitch had to go out in the snow and get her what she had wanted. Because he wouldn't let her to go to the store alone in this weather, would he? Sure as hell he wouldn't, but having her as a company would have been nice.

He swept the snow off his boots and coat. Normally, he would never bother with it, but the last thing he wished for was a mad Effie. He still grumbled while he cleaned and sliced the pineapple, and put the pieces in a bowl. Then, he took the cupcakes out of the box and arranged them nicely on a plate. Then he filled a glass with ice and whiskey for himself. He placed the bowl, the plate and the glass on a tray and with it in his hands, he headed upstairs. He silently entered their bedroom, but to his utter terror, Effie wasn't there, even though she was supposed to be in bed, resting. She was tired and exhausted most of the time. It was her first winter in Twelve, she wasn't used to cold, hard winters and blizzards. The weather worn her out. Deep down, Haymitch was glad she had cravings for different kind of foods, it meant she was healing.

"Ef-…"

"Bathroom!" she shouted from behind the closed door. "I'm coming in a minute!"

Haymitch placed the tray on her bedside table and sat down on the bed. Effie did appear after a minute or so. She was wearing Haymitch's flannel PJs and they were far too big for her. She straddled him and kissed his forehead.

"I see you are better." Haymitch wrapped his arms around her waist and tucked his head under her chin.

"I am."

"Then it seems it was pointless to go to bakery and the grocery store for you. You could have done it for yourself and I wouldn't have frozen to death." He mocked. His hand was stroking her back.

"Awww poor baby, it was too cold outside? I thought for a strong, brave man, a little blizzard was nothing." She kissed the top of his head "I thought you would go through fire for me. You did go through fire for me. But not through a blizzard?"

"Don't test me." He growled "Eat your cupcakes before they go completely cold."

"Then let me go." Haymitch sighed and unwrapped his arms. Effie slide down on the bed and covered herself with the blanket right away. She took a cupcake and picked off a little piece of topping. Haymitch leaned in to kiss her temple.

"Do I get a tea...?" Effie asked as innocently as she could.

"As soon as you get your pretty ass down to the kitchen and make it for yourself."

"Haymitch!"

"Okay, okay." He rolled his eyes "I'm going and making your tea, princess." He got up, took a cupcake and left the bedroom. He came back in ten minutes with a big mug of steaming tea. He put it down on the tray and sat back on the bed "Happy now?"

"Thank you." Effie said softly "And thank you for taking care of me. I appreciate it. Just a few years ago I would have never thought you would do this for me."

"I would do more for you, princess." He looked at her.

"I know." Effie cupped Haymitch's face and stroked his cheek with her thumb. "And now I love you even more." If it's possible, she thought.

"Why...?"

"You went out in this weather just to get me cupcakes and pineapple. You could have said no, but you didn't. You went and got what I asked for." She kissed his lips. "I love you for always being there and taking care of me."


	7. Who gets the job done

**A/N:** hey guys, I know I've disappeared I'm sorry - I was extremely busy (I still am, as the matter of fact; life and university keep me busy). Thanks for the reviews-promts I'm working on it but you probably have to wait for it at least two weeks because I will be out of my country.

Here's a little smuth-ish stuff, enjoy! ;)

* * *

 _Who gets the job done?_

Effie moaned. She was close, _so, so close_. She clung to Haymitch's shoulders. He had already came but he was still inside of her, moving lazily. She wished he would fasten up a little. _Just a little!_ So she could reach her release too. It would be so good! She moaned louder and hoped Haymitch would get her hint. But instead of speeding up, he stopped. Completely. He pulled himself out and knelt up.

'You were good.' He said, patted her knee and got off the bed. Effie whimpered in frustration when she saw he was already flaccid. He put his sweatpants on and walked to the door. 'See ya later!' He opened it. Effie sat up.

'Haven't you forgotten something?!' She hissed. She was unsatisfied and it made her sensitive, frustrated and mad. He had been doing it lately. After his orgasm, he didn't wait until she came, he just got off her and left. But, of course, he would show up again the next night to be with her. And she was stupid enough for not sending him away…

'Me?' Haymitch stopped in his track. He looked around the room, spotted something and nodded in agreement. 'You're right.' He strode to the backof the room, bent down and picked up a half-empty bottle of whiskey. 'I did forget something.' He was about to leave when a pillow hit his head.

'What the fuck, Trinket?!' He turned back to her. She was kneeling on the bed, still naked, not even bothering to cover herself. Her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. She was angry. Haymitch smirked. He knew very well what Effie meant but he chose to be oblivious.

'You heard me! You forgot something.'

'Yeah, my booze.' He lifted up the bottle. The golden liquor splashed to the side of the glass. Haymitch looked down at it and after some thought, he shrugged, opened the bottle, lifted it to his lips and took a long sip. "Dunno what I woulda done without it. Thanks, sweetheart!" He winked at Effie. She screamed and threw another pillow at him. Haymitch had expected it and caught the flying pillow easily. He put it on the ground and kicked it away.

'I have not finished, you fucking idiot!' Effie yelled and grabbed another pillow. 'In the past few days you never satisfied me! You fucked me five nights in a row and never waited until I had an orgasm! What the fuck is wrong with you?!'

'With me? Absolutely nothing, I've came all week, have had mind blowing orgasms. I can't complain. Most of the times were quite enjoyable, thank you very much.' he winked and took another sip.

'I hate you!' Effie threw the pillow but it missed Haymitch and hit a painting on her wall. 'I have no idea why I still let you in my room.'

'Because I am the best fuck you ever had. I rock your world.'

'Not this week…maybe you are too old. Maybe I should look for a new cock…' Effie sat back, leaned against the pile of pillows on her bed.

'Or maybe you shouldn't tell a man he never finishes anything. 'Cause, guess what, princess, he might really stop finishing some things…'

'What?' Effie froze. She indeed had told Haymitch few days ago he had never finished anything but she was talking about a sponsor's gift. Her mentor was supposed to sign it but, of course, it had never happened. Effie got mad, which resulted in Haymitch getting mad too, and they fought – as usual. Effie's last sentence to Haymitch was that he had never finished anything, and he was impossible to work with. Then she left the room.

'You…'

'I what, princess?'

'You are a rude, pathetic, alcoholic…'

'Am I? No, Trinket, I'm not. I showed you what would happen if I didn't finish what I started…' he smirked and Effie felt like she could kill him with her two, bare hands. How dared he! He had no right to give her a lesson! Work and sex went on two separated ways and one should never interfere the other.

'Then you can look for someone new to have fun with tomorrow, because you will never enter this room again, and you definitely won't touch me again. I am not a common whore to be used.'

''Kay.' he shrugged and took another sip ''Night.'

''Kay? That's all you have to say?!' she hissed.

'What else? Wouldn't be too hard to find another bitch, everyone wanna fuck a victor – women and men.'

'I'm not a bitch.' another pillow flew.

'Then stop behaving like one. 'Night, princess!' he opened the door and was about to leave when Effie appeared by his side and grabbed his hand.

'You really would leave without finishing me first…?' she tried to sound as sweet as she could.

'Without a doubt.' he looked at Effie and the dismay on her face made him smirk 'You attacked me with pillows – I assumed you want me outta here, so…yeah. See ya in the morning.' Haymitch nodded and left the room.

'Asshole.' Effie murmured. She let out a frustrated sigh and walked over to her dresser. Effie opened a drawer and picked out a bright pink vibrator 'I don't need your overrated dick, Haymitch. I have a friend to play with.' she whispered to herself and walked back to her bed and made herself comfortable – she had to finish what her mentor had started.


	8. A girl worth fighting for

_A girl worth fighting for_

He knew it would happen. He knew Chaff would never leave the arena alive for he had promised he would protect Katniss and Peeta at the cost of his own life. He knew it, but still seeing his close friend get killed in that arena as he had promised he would never return hurt him. And at that very moment, the fleeting sense of comfort knowing Chaff died for a free Panem did not ease the pain he felt. He was surprised though, that after so many deaths he had witnessed over the years, he could still feel pain and sorrow.

He got up and walked over to the bar. He didn't bother with a glass and went straight for the bottle. Just as he raised the bottle to his mouth, the elevator chimed, its door opened and Effie stepped out of it. He looked at her and with one draw, he downed a quarter of the booze in the bottle. He shivered a little as the strong liquid ran down his throat. But Effie did nothing. He took another big gulp from the bottle, but his escort still didn't react to the provocation. Haymitch wanted to provoke Effie, so he could focus on something else than that obtuse pain deep inside him. He wanted to rage, he wanted to shout, to scream, anything but to feel the pain Chaff's death caused. But Effie knew him better. She walked up to him and took the booze out of his hand and placed it back on the bar.

'I was drinking it.' Haymitch noted, but Effie ignored him. She stood in front of him, she was so small he had to dip his head a little to look in her eyes. A small sad smile appeared on her face, then she tiptoed to press a short, soft kiss against his lips. It barely lasted for a second. He put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. Effie tucked her head under his chin.

'I'm sorry.' she whispered 'I'm truly sorry.' her voice trembling. He didn't reply; only tightened his arms around her. He might have lost a friend, but as long as he had Effie, he was fine, or - at least - he could manage. Effie's presence brought a kind of peace he had never experienced before. And in the raging storm that was about to destroy everything they knew, he desired that unfamiliar peace and calmness more than he ever desired the comforting dullness of booze. Because if he had Effie by his side, he had a reason to stay alive and a reason to fight.


	9. The world has changed but he has not

_The world has changed but he has not_

The phone rang for minutes, it took her a while to answer. I nervously drummed with my fingers against the surface of the table.

'C'mon, pick it up.' I murmured to myself. Finally, I hear the familiar 'click' - indicating that someone had picked up the phone.

'It's fuckin' two in the morning' Jo's voice growled at the other end of the line 'It better be a goddamn, fucking emergency or I assure you you'll regret the day you were born.'

'Always a charm to speak to.' I snorted.

'You're charming enough for the both of us.' I could hear her muffling a yawn. 'What d'you want, Haymitch? It's rude to call people up at this unholy hour of the night. Hasn't the bitch taught you some good manners?'

'Watch the language! That bitch is my...' nowadays I tend to be overprotective over her than ever before.

'Your... what exactly? Fuck toy? Maiden?' I clutched my free hand and took a deep breath. I didn't answer for minutes 'Thanks for the chat, Haymitch, I'm gonna go back to sleep if you've nothing to say. 'Night. Next time you wanna chat, call when the sun is up.'

'She's pregnant.' I said silently - I'm afraid to utter the words loud yet. My announcement is welcomed by silence.

'Congratulations.' Jo said after minutes of not saying anything.

'That's all you have to say...?'

'What did you expect? Shoulda put a condom on that majestic dick of yours to prevent this kind of stuff then. You don't expect me to pop a champagne in the dead of the night, do you?'

'It's not a joke, Jo.' although I know she didn't mean it as one. I can hear it in her voice that she's unsure what to say or how to react. She's not alone with the feeling...

'I know...But...we both know that's something she has been longing for...for a very long time now, Haymitch.' her voice is surprisingly low and almost soft 'She wanted it so bad, she told Annie, and she even told me. You should see her with Finn and you would understand how deeply she wishes to be a mother.'

'She is a mother. She has Katniss and Peeta to baby.' I sigh.

'Katniss and babying, sure!' Jo snorts 'It's not the same for her. She wants her own child.'

'But why, Jo? You don't bring an innocent life to the world of ours. It's a hell, it's crazy, it's unsafe. You know it as much as I do.'

'It's different now…at least that is what she says. I don't know, I don't understand her, but her reality is different from ours.' that I have noticed a very long time ago. Effie seemed to live in a totally different world than us. Even now after the war, after all those things she had been through, she still tries to be as positive as she can be.

'I've never wanted it. Kids.' I admitted.

'Then you should've let her go years ago. In that very moment when she first talked about having a baby. But you were jealous of the thought of someone else is being with her. Someone who is not you.' her voice was cold as ice - as always when she knew she was right and said nothing but the truth 'You two were never a match. She needs love, she needs to feel loved, and you can't do that, you can love but you can't show it. You can't, I can't, Katniss can't. We are broken beyond repair but Effie is like Peeta. Love can heal her. Love can keep her alive. Been there, seen that what her beliefs in love can do to her. Hell, her love for you kept her alive in that fucking cell. And if her own child loved her unconditionally and trusted her, she knows she would do something good, a little payback for those awful things she had done before you opened up her eyes. Because her own child would not see her as a killer like rest of Panem does.'

'Killers don't have children.' I say, totally ignoring Jo's speech.

'You are not a killer. She...it's different...but...our world has changed.'

'The world might have, but I have not.'

'You have. And...I can't believe it's me who says it but...Victors' kids are not in grave danger anymore. That kid will never end up in an arena, that kid will never know hunger, that kid will never know to be afraid of loving someone. Thanks to you.'

'When did you become so wise?' I ask. My voice is mocking, I know it but can't help it. Jo sounds honest and not sarcastic or disgusted.

'If you lived long enough with Annie, you would be, too. Don't fuck this one up, Haymtich. You've let her down for far too many times.'

'I'll keep it in mind. Thanks, Jo!' we say our goodbyes and I hung up the phone. I sigh and headed upstairs. Before I got back to our bed, I watched Effie's seemingly peaceful sleep. She's on her back, her hair is everywhere on the pillow. Her hand was on her stomach. Jo was right; I've let her down too many times. I wasn't able to protect. Will I be able to protect her child?


End file.
